◆ nostalgic wind.

I came up with the title of this post based on the lyrics of one of the songs in the anime ROD the TV (ROD stands for Read or Die). Although the song is in Japanese, I believe part of the lyrics mean “nostalgic wind”.

On one particular day, I was on the second floor of one of the various buildings we have on my high school campus. If there’s one good thing about this campus, it’s probably having a second floor. Sure, it’s a hassle to get to a classroom on the second floor (and even worse if you happen to have a locker up there – unless you have classes near to the locker), but it does provide a nice view. It’s a good place to people-watch. No one suspects that they are actually being observed from the top. (And I noticed for the first time that there are just a few flowers in the square area around a tree. I never really saw it before because I’ve usually been thinking about something else, or someone has been sitting there, blocking my view of the flowers.)

It was a pleasant day. The sky was blue, even if there weren’t any impressive clouds around (I remember last year I was always staring up at the clouds when I ran during PE. A part of me got angry because I didn’t have my camera around and would miss good photo opportunities, but another part of me was just glad to see something beautiful). There had been a breeze blowing. I stood by the railing and looked out at the elementary school that is next to my high school. Even if that wasn’t the elementary school I attended, it still brought back a wave of longing for the old days. It’s hard to remember what it was like to play on the playground every day and still feel like it wasn’t enough time; and I try to remember what it was like to actually have SSR, Silent Sustained Reading, every day.

And pen pals, that was something we only had in elementary school… Just the other day, I read the story “Correspondence”, about a girl named Henrietta “Henky” Evans who writes letters to a boy in South America. (He never responds, though.) I was thinking that it would be nice to have a pen pal. My mom doesn’t understand what’s so great about writing snail mail. She thinks it’s a waste of time and money (for stamps) to write to people who live nearby. But even that’s kind of nice. It’s exciting getting a letter in the mail from a friend.

I wonder why we never spent a really long time in school sending letters to our pen pals. We would maybe send a letter, get a reply, and maybe send one more, maybe not. It seems like we never really kept up the correspondence for long. (And since I was young and ignorant at the time, as well as not knowing where my pen pals lived, I had to rely on the school to get my letter to my pen pal.) I really think there ought to be a program of sending letters to a pen pal for older students, like what there was in “Correspondence”, not just the occasional time where you have to do it in elementary school. It would give me a little something to look forward to. And I might meet a wonderful friend.

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◆ fear of high school.

Is there such a phobia? Because I probably had it, not long ago.

A week from now, on Monday, I will officially make the move from middle school to high school. It’s a change that I have been feeling uncertain about. It seems like the clock will really be ticking once I enter high school. My mother is now pressuring me to take classes and study for the SATs and attend seminars. And now I’m being urged to…

– Talk to my teachers (which is a bit hard for me, since I’m not that outgoing as of the past few years and I feel like it’s really shallow to befriend your teachers just to get a good recommendation letter for college)

– Make a “professional” email (I don’t want to have to check three different emails. I already hardly check one of them – and besides, I figure I’ll get spam mail if my real name is in the email’s name. And I would really be angry if people were judging me by my email. I know, in this world, first impressions can mean everything, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.)

– Attend extra classes outside of school (my mother insists that a lot of other people are taking them and I have to in order to keep up. But I don’t like the idea of that either, because it feels like I’m using money in order to get ahead in school. Just because other people are doing it doesn’t mean it’s right. Well, I suppose I may be the only one who has such warped and illogical morals.)

– Stop wasting time on the Internet (that’s something I intend to work on myself. For instance, I am planning to quit Crunchyroll. Maybe not completely. I might come back once in a while, but I will probably stop visiting on a regular basis. I’ve already started to think of my “farewell” message. It’s painful for me to leave something behind, but not as much as I would have thought a few months ago. It’s time to move on. I no longer want to be chained to it.)

And I don’t really know what to expect of life in high school. Back when school was still in session, all of us 8th graders went over to the high school campus (it’s pretty much across the street, so it’s nearby) and listened to some people talk about various parts of the school. They encouraged us to join clubs and participate in leadership activities and whatnot. Near the beginning of the session, the students said, “Well, I bet you think from what your siblings and friends have told you that it’s all about studying.” Then they paused, and added, “Well, it is sort of like that…”

I certainly hope not. In this country, what with some of the best universities being located here (Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Princeton, MIT, UC Berkeley, UC LA, Brown, Cornell, Columbia, Dartmouth, Pomona, Northwestern…), the competition gets too fierce. If you ask me, it’s like in middle school they’re preparing you for high school, and then in high school they’re preparing you for college, and then in college you’re being prepared for…Your job? The rest of your life? I’m not really sure. (As for when you’ve got yourself a steady job, I think you’re just waiting for retirement. XD) I have heard that some of my fellow students have been taking classes during the summer, such as Geometry, so that perhaps they can move up a level in math and will not have to take Geometry in high school. (I don’t see the need to rush. Why not take it easy? You should be able to take Calculus by your senior year if you just go the grade level route.)

Well, I’m sure there’s a lot more to high school than just studying for tests all the time. (It’s not like I study as much as I should anyways, since I often think to myself, “Eh, I’ll probably end up studying something that isn’t on the test. I’ll be wasting my time.”) But I have no idea what everything else is like either. I’ve looked at the school lunch menu and read the policy, but what does that really tell me about the people there? How can I know what I’ve read in novels really reflects the high school I’ll be attending? Will it be similar to middle school or a whole different universe? I guess the only thing that can be done is to experience it for myself. I am no longer afraid, or at least less so than before. But I’m not completely looking forward to it, either.

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◆ run for your life!

Do not be alarmed. The sky is not falling. Your hair is not on fire. Your family and friends are all alive and well. The world is not ending.

The running that I am referring to here is not running for survival, but as part of a chosen lifestyle.

Judging from what I am hearing and seeing at my school, being a teacher can be a really great job. Sure, you might catch colds from the kids, have to deal with rude and overly talkative children, and complain about not being paid as much as you deserve, but teaching has its perks, too. You receive pension when you’re retired, and you can go to school with your kids, if you’re like my math teacher (his kids are in middle school right now, so he gets to go to school and leave school with them!). You also get to watch kids grow up and have a hand in how they turn out. It must be really cool seeing your students come back many years later, mature and successful.

The PE teachers have a nice time. They can be outside in the fresh air and have less grading to do than other teachers, but they are paid the same. They can exercise if they feel like it or they can just stand and order the kids to do something. And I don’t think you would normally have to work overtime. (My parents still do work at home after they get back at work. I think it’s more lax if you’re a PE teacher.)

I heard that one of the PE teachers injured his Achilles tendon and it was driving him crazy because he couldn’t run. I’m very fearful of getting my Achilles tendon hurt because of how important it is – you could be out for a year, depending on how bad the injury is. It’s pretty important in walking and running. It was already bad enough those times I sprained my ankle and kept getting left behind when I tried to run in PE.

I just really wish I could live the active lifestyle. Even the non PE teachers have the chance to pursue athletic hobbies. One time, during PE class, I saw my history teacher jogging on the track. Maybe it was his prep period and he didn’t have anything to do so he decided to enjoy the nice weather. I wish I could be as lucky as him, doing a job that I like and also doing one of my hobbies at work.

I am sad about going to high school because I don’t think I’ll be able to take PE every year. I know I will take it for at least two years, one time in 9th grade, and the other not determined yet. I really want to take PE every year because I fear I will not exercise enough without it. But I don’t know if I can. We can only take a certain amount of classes. And it really saddens me.

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◆ au chien qui fume.

I saw my mom reading a Chinese newspaper, a common activity of hers. There was a page featuring, France, Paris in particular, and I saw a picture of a food dish with the words “Au Chien Qui Fume” under it. I said, “Oh, it must be something like a dog who smokes.” My mom read the Chinese translation and said I was right about that. She seemed a little surprised. Well, I guess learning French is doing some good at last. (I mean, I really can’t read Chinese…)

Au Chien Qui Fume is the name of a restaurant in the Paris. See if you can understand anything on their website. XD I can vaguely read it…And considering that whoever is reading this right now understands English, you could probably guess at some of the words.

I recently heard that there was some regulation being passed in France saying that you couldn’t smoke in restaurants anymore, I believe it was Paris in particular… So then people went outside to smoke. However, some restaurants are open late at night (bars too, I guess?) and so the smokers outside make noise. People who live upstairs above the restaurants get annoyed by it and have complained so restaurants/bars had to close at an earlier time. This made people upset, saying something along the lines of, “It’s Paris! The city of lights! And now you’re taking this away from us!”

You know, I’ve always wondered why countries where people smoke seem to have such long average lifespans. France and Japan are both countries where there are quite a few smokers and yet the average life expectancy is quite high in both countries. Perhaps other factors like diet end up outweighing it? (My parents actually question whether smoking is bad, but I don’t think that is debatable. I mean, if nothing else, it makes your breath smell bad.)

Friday, being the closest day to Valentine’s that we were in school (next week is a week off!), was the day Singing Valentines were going on. Just to get you up to speed if you don’t have that at your school, a Singing Valentine is something that you can buy for a few dollars from the school for a friend or significant other. The recipient will be sung to by students from the school choir, as well as a card from the sender and a piece of candy. I didn’t send any this year, because I really wasn’t thinking about it at all, but one of my friends did send me one.

One of my teachers was sick of all the Singing Valentines. At first I was shocked by his attitude since the singers had probably practiced their songs and choreography, and anyways it’s easy for me to respect those better than myself at something, but then my teacher said that during third period, there were 9 Singing Valentines. That’s a lot of singing. In my period, one student got 2 Singing Valentines.

There were various groups of students, like a group of people wearing white shirts, ties, and red hats, a group of people with pink outfits and fairy wings, a group of people with plaid shirts, and a group of pizza deliverers. I liked the pizza group the best because I liked their songs. (And they were unique since they had two guys in the group…I bet those were the only two guys in the school choir. It’s kind of sad how there’s such a huge difference between the number of girls and guys. I wonder if it’s any different in high school.)

Speaking of high school, it is really starting to loom near for me. On Thursday, I went to the high school that I will most likely be attending to listen to presentations about science, math, and language arts (since history isn’t offered for freshmen, there was no presentation for that) and to get information about the electives offered at the school. My dad says the teachers there are pretty cool, like college professors. I am not sure what to think of this because I’m not that sure about what college professors are “supposed” to be like.

Anyways, the school newspaper looked pretty cool. It was pretty different from my school’s newspaper, that’s for sure. Does four years really make that much difference? My school’s newspaper was fairly amusing – the bad advice column was great – but now it’s not even there anymore because Journalism was cut from the electives (Not enough money! Not enough students! UGH!). The articles in my school’s newspaper weren’t all that long most of the time and some of them were just kind of unexciting, corny descriptions of school dances and rallies. But the high school’s newspaper talked about actual issues, and showed the car accidents that have happened. There were also pictures of the crossing guards, which I thought was nice – they should be recognized for their work.

I wonder if I should take Journalism when I reach 11th or 12th grade? I’ve always worried that it would be really hard work, having to stay after school and interview people and slave away typing articles on laptops. I guess I’m just really lazy and fearful of hard work. I can’t always stay this way… (As much as I’d like to retire, it’s simply not that likely to happen in the near future. I’ll have to get used to studying or working for long hours and dealing with more burdens over time)

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◆ small fish in a big pond.

Sometimes I feel like that, and other times I feel like quite the opposite. There are times that I have the feeling of being on top of the world, like I can overcome anything, and that life is easy. But there are times as well where I feel as if there is so much out there and I am just one person, too insignificant to matter.

I mentioned in a previous post (unfortunately, I can’t remember which one it was, so unless you’re really bored, don’t bother searching for it) that I live in a place where many people are fairly affluent. One time, my language arts teacher (who says she is poor, but I suppose it can’t be so bad she must live off of freebies) asked how many of us think about the price of things when we buy them. I didn’t mind when I was younger, but over time I started to care about it, and nowadays I don’t really buy much for myself (except for a Galileo thermometer, but that’s a different story). A lot of people said they just asked their parents to buy something and didn’t really worry about how much it cost. I had heard that my town prides itself on having an average income that is quite high, or something along those lines. (Note: That doesn’t mean everyone owns a private jet or a beach house in a foreign country, though)

I started to wonder, “Would us kids be able to survive out in the real world?” Well, my parents’ friend’s son was a student at both UC Berkeley and Harvard, and he said, “The experience you get at the schools is different. At UC Berkeley you’re more left to your own devices, but at Harvard you’ll be helped along.” Basically, even the different colleges may encourage a different level of independence. I have been wondering whether people living a sheltered, privileged life will really be okay when they get out there into the rest of the world. (Well, unless they always live in the same place, or move to a similar place) I mean, there are 6.8 billion people in the world and counting, so there will definitely be a lot of competition – for example, people will fight for jobs, as jobs are not created fast enough to make up for the growing population and the bad economy.

And really, the world is filled with hardships. I don’t think everyone can be so lucky to never experience them. Some of my troubles are physical, like when I catch a cold, or sprain my ankle, but most of them are mental. I’ve always wondered what it would be like if I had a different life. Like if I had siblings…Being an only child, I don’t really learn to share or to take care of someone else. In fact, I don’t really do chores besides putting my clothes away when they have been washed.

Today, I visited a bridge in my town. It’s not a bridge over water, it’s simply a bridge over a highway. I think it looks very nice at nighttime, though I didn’t visit it at night. I walked there with my dad in the afternoon. There were several people on the bridge. No cars are allowed on it – only people on foot and people on bicycles. The bridge is practically on the border of my town and a neighboring town, so if you cross the bridge, you’ll be in a different city. But you’ll be in the same school district. There is a high school right next to the other end of the bridge. I would like to be able to go that high school. (The high school I will probably be going to is a very highly ranked one in academic terms, though, and the high school next to the bridge is…not so much) It would be so charming, living next to the bridge and walking across it to go to school. Quite picturesque. Some people would be bothered by the highway noise, but I don’t think it would be too much of a problem for me (as long as there aren’t too many police chases and ambulances at nighttime).

I wonder what I ought to do. Should I accept my fate, because destiny cannot be altered? Or should I fight against it, fight to change it, and make a life for myself? Is it better to be the blade of grass, which bends but doesn’t break, or like bamboo, which prefers to break than bend? Is it better to go with the flow or to make ripples in the water? I wonder about that.

Oh, before I end this post, I would like to explain why I was thinking of fish in the beginning of the post. It was because of something I saw in the December edition of Reader’s Digest. There was a complaint someone made to a travel agent. The person said, “No one told us there were fish in the ocean. The children were startled.” Wow. I guess there are many different people.

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◆ back to the daily grind.

I don’t drink coffee, so I’m not talking about coffee beans. But this reminds me of something from Ouran High School Host Club. The people who go to Ouran Academy are all wealthy, privileged people. Haruhi Fujioka, being a “commoner” and a scholarship student, was to work for the host club to pay back a debt, so she bought instant coffee. The Ouran students had never tried it and said, “Oh my! So it is true that commoners are so busy they can’t grind their own beans!” I doubt that everyone is necessarily that busy. Sure, overall most people do have a lot of things on their schedules but if my dad has time to watch movies in the evening then he certainly has time to grind coffee beans. (No offense to my father. But he knows that I think he doesn’t do much at work. XD)

Before I start rambling too much all over again, I might as well clarify what I’m talking about. During this summer it was kind of a daze for me, since I was sleeping better and had a lot of free time, so on and so forth. But now I’ve gone back to school and I have to adjust back to the tediousness of the regular year. And eventually, when I’m working, unless I’m a teacher, I will probably have to get used to it almost forever. It’s a rather melancholy thought so I will try not to dwell on it. Already we have homework again, however, and sooner or later I will have to come back “down to Earth”.

Today, in fact, was the first day of the 2009 – 2010 school year for me. The first class was history, with, ironically, a teacher called Mr. Brown. This is weird seeing as I have had both Kampps, Browns, and Blairs. (The Kampps are married, the Browns are just…unrelated, and the Blairs are brothers.) It seems like if there’s 2+ teachers with the same last name I end up being one of their students.

Overall I think the teachers this year are okay. The impression I got from them…
History – Kind of intimidating, but he is funny. I’m still wary, though, because he said he likes to yell.
Science – I don’t mean this to be rude or anything, but she certainly looks old. I wonder if she’s about retiring age yet. I know Mr. Brown (last year, not this year) said that the 8th grade teachers are…well…they’ve got a lot of years under their belts. (Not that they necessarily wear belts.)
Language Arts – She seems pretty cool. I noticed that she is a big fan of the Chargers football team. This reminded me of Mrs. Jackson in the way that Mrs. Jackson is a big fan of the Red Socks baseball team. (She even has a sign that says Red Sox Fan Parking Only on her wall) Anyhow, I have noticed my LA teacher is the most lax when it comes to late work because she accepts it two out of three trimesters whereas the others won’t even take it unless there are “unusual and extreme circumstances” (in the words of the science teacher who once had a student with leukemia).
Geometry – I like him even if I did think his voice was just a touch odd at first. He has some sense of humor which is a relief. I heard two of his kids go to my school. Oh yeah, and for some reason the Geometry class is nearly full this year. I wonder why?
PE – This is Mr. Blair. I had him for a trimester last year so I kind of know him already. He always reminds me of Luigi from the Mario video games for some reason. My PE period is 6th period. Strangely, I had 6th period PE for the first trimester all three years of middle school.
French – I can’t pronounce her name at all but I’m going to work on it. Though I pale at the thought of learning hundreds, maybe thousands, of French words, I suppose I signed up for it, so I have to deal with it. What was funny was that she bought an hourglass from the Galeries Lafayette in Paris, France, but then it turned out to be “made in China”. I bet nowadays almost everything is.

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